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The “Intelligent” Alcoholic - 10 Ways to Keep Drinking.

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Disclaimer: I want to make something very clear before I write this feature… Here at Self Pursuit we by no means condone the overindulgence of the consummation of beverages of the alcoholic variety.

Alcoholics are a challenge to treat. Usually, they are reluctant to talk about their ailment and avoid direct conversation about the addiction.

It is somewhat refreshing to come across an alcoholic that actually likes to talk. Likes to talk about being an alcoholic, that is, to their doctor. These individuals give us insight into the convoluted thinking that makes it such a challenge to combat alcoholism.


You should always drink in moderation and responsibly.

However, we’re only human when all said and done (myself included). Certain events in your life tend to have rather a free flow of alcohol where it might me rude not to indulge… so

Here are the top ten qualities of an “intelligent” alcoholic:

  1. Even though you are taking Antabuse, you plan ahead for a drink. You get off the Antabuse days before you plan to take a drink, then restart. But, you still get to tell your doctor that you are taking the Antabuse.

    2. If you’ve just been to a wedding, maybe a friend’s 40th birthday, a Stag or Bucks party or a Hen’s shindig or any occasion where you have overindulged this is for you. If you’re nursing a stinking hangover or feel like someone is pounding your head with a hammer you might be asking yourself:

    How can I make the pain go away?

    Is there an instant fix that will allow my brain to function once more?

  2. You see a personal counselor regularly. But, you allege they don’t know as much as you do about your personal alcoholism. You claim that the counselor is actually asking your advice on how to get through to you.
  3. You go to work every day and you drink between meetings, grabbing a breath mint on the way to the meeting. “Just a swig”. This keeps you thinking that you don’t drink much.
  4. You tell your wife you are sneaking. That way, she knows you are sneaking. You just never tell her that you sneak in the bathroom closet. You let her think she has her eye on you because you’ve admitted you sneak. Then, you can sneak with a clear conscience.
  5. You avoid AA because the people there are too religious. It is damaging to your overall sense of well-being because it has turned into a right wing group of people who just want to talk about the bible.
  6. You avoid other recovering alcoholics because you have been a sponsor at AA and already know everything you need to know. You see no value in going.
  7. You keep to yourself and avoid colleagues after hours because they are not “interesting” to you. And, because they don’t know a thing about your drinking.
  8. You develop another physical condition that is caused by the alcohol and then you fixate on that condition instead of the alcohol. Say, a peripheral neuropathy that is painful and disrupts your life. Your focus becomes the disease and the alcoholism becomes totally secondary.

    9. 30 Hangover Cures: • The Classic �Hair of the Dog’. A light alcoholic beverage could be just what the doctor ordered to get you back on the straight and narrow. Pick up where you left off the night before and you might be fine and dandy.

    • Drink Green Tea. It has been proven that tea is actually a lot more healthy than water for you. Not only does tea hydrate but it also has much needed vitamins and minerals that old H20 doesn’t offer. Research Has Proved That Tea Is Healthier Than Water… [read more]

  9. You use the alternate physical condition as an excuse to “self-medicate”– with alcohol, of course.
  10. You have a high IQ and believe that being smart makes your reasoning superior to other individuals. Because your reasoning makes sense to you, and your reasoning cannot be understood by the average person, you come to believe that you are fine because you can understand very complicated reasoning. So, you must not have a problem with alcohol and alcohol is not smart enough to get the better of you.
Source: thedoctorblogger.com


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10 Responses to “The “Intelligent” Alcoholic - 10 Ways to Keep Drinking.”
28 August, 2007, 4:25 am

michael :


I’d read some Chogyam Trungpa before I read of his problem in a book of stories dealing with Jung’s notion of the ‘Shadow’. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ch%C3%B6gyam_Trungpa

Goes to show how ingenious we can be, rationalising the booze. Knock wood…I eventually bored myself sober, no credit to me but I am grateful.

28 August, 2007, 5:49 am

Andy :


A couple counterpoints:

5- the people at AA ARE a bunch of right wing bible thumping nuts. why replace one addiction with another, equally debilitating?

7- most people’s co-workers really AREN’T interesting to them. gasp!

28 August, 2007, 6:24 am

Leobaby :


When I quit smoking cigarettes my brain really played tricks on me. I realized it was Me versus Me, not Me versus Cigarettes when some thought process in my brain decided cigarettes are just like vitamins. Realizing that one fact made the rest of the process almost trivial. Still, I wish to never ever repeat it.

28 August, 2007, 7:14 am

Gordonjay :


I just drink a lot.

28 August, 2007, 9:21 am

Liberal_one :


Damn, I hate these lists where I get 8 out of 10.

28 August, 2007, 10:27 am

User13 :


Yep.

28 August, 2007, 12:28 pm

Jeremyh :


I… just really like beer.

28 August, 2007, 7:25 pm

Treephant :


I’ve seen funnier comments at real meetings.

25 November, 2007, 6:36 am

aGorilla :


Practice! Practice! Practice!

25 November, 2007, 3:51 pm

NancyGracesTesticles :


Damn. I was hoping to find some useful information.

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