Ten Ways to Become a Victim of Crime and Violence.
Posted in Security.
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Need to inject a little excitement to your hum-drum life? Become a victim of crime! It’s easy to be a target of criminals and violent assailants. Just follow these 10 easy ways to get robbed, injured, maimed, and/or killed.
In no particular order:
- Ignore Your Surroundings. Don’t pay attention to your environment. Solely focus on where you’re going, or get lost in your thoughts. Don’t look around you to see if there are any potential problems. Don’t worry about loiterers around your car. Talk on your mobile phone on your way to the car or walking on the street. Keep your head down.
- Be a Soft Target. Act in a way that assailants will choose you over others. First, be oblivious to everything around you (see #1 above). Act meek and fearful. Look down and slouch. Don’t speak up or look at anyone.
- Don’t Have a Plan. Be a spontaneous free spirit! You figure that if you’re ever in a confrontation, you’ll immediately react properly, without ever planning an escape or rehearsing an escape plan. Don’t quickly scan for exits wherever you are. At home, don’t develop an escape plan (which can also be use for escaping a fire) with your family.
- Ignore Your Instincts. Instincts are for cavemen. We’re in the 21st century now and our brain knows better. Those funny feelings (intuition) that something isn’t right are illogical and not based on any fact. Ignore your feeling that those group of young thugs could be trouble, or that gut feeling that your date is being overfriendly. Without hard evidence, just go along and don’t worry about anything bad that might happen.
- Always Comply with a Criminal. Believe the criminal when he says he won’t hurt you if you do whatever he asks. After all, criminals get to their esteemed positions by always telling the truth.
- Give Up. Why bother resisting or finding ways to escape? After all, karma has brought you face-to-face in a confrontation, and there is nothing you can do to get out of it. Well, other than let the criminal do whatever he wants with you. If you do resist or try to escape, it’ll just make him more angry, and you don’t want that. Be a polite vicitm and the confrontation will soon pass.
- Focus on Complex Techniques. You need several years of advanced martial arts training to be really effective in using techniques based on fine motor skills. Those simple moves using gross motor skills are for wussies and are just plain uncool. You want to show off your spinning jump back kicks to your assailant so he knows who he’s dealing with.
- Focus on Not Getting Hurt. Getting hurt sucks. It’s not worth geting a scratch, bruise, broken bone, or cut if you try to escape. After all, you’d rather be found dead and intact than alive and injured. You’ll look better in a coffin that way.
- Rely on a Lethal Weapon. Having a gun or knife will protect you in all situations - at work, home, or running errands. You’ll always have your gun or knife ready to use. Or they’ll warn you before they 21 feet from you. Since 21 feet is the distance it takes for someone to reach you before you can pull out a gun and fire 2 rounds. A criminal would be ashamed and dishonored if he didn’t give you fair warning before he attacked you.
- Wait to Be Attacked Before Responding. Having mastered the rules of etiquette, you are exceedingly polite and considerate. So you don’t say or do anything until someone already attacks you. After all, you don’t want to be rude or embarrased by yelling “stay back,” “no,” or “I don’t want any trouble.” Your civility will protect you from bad things happening to you.
Conclusion.
This article was meant to be a humorous and sarcastic view on the serious subject of self-defense. Learn the lessons contained herein. Effective self-defense is the opposite of what is outlined above. Be safe!
Source: www.selfdefenseresource.com
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