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Seven ways to make your emails unprofessional.

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6 ways to make a good e-mail signature.

The e-mail signature is something that can be helpful or royally annoying. You see while you can help people by including your phone number, e-mail, and website… adding a graphic or quote can just drive you batty. No matter how your e-mail program does it, here are my tips:

• Keep it short. Seven lines is good. Mine happens to be 8, because I also include a row of “=” to separate it from my text.

• Keep it simple. Leave the images for your website. I’ve also found that images and other “nifty” things make your e-mail more likely to get tagged as spam and lost… [read more]

Proper email etiquette is something everyone should know if they want to be perceived as professionals. However, not everyone wants to be a professional. You can be the office goofball, butt of jokes, or simply that creep that everyone’s trying to avoid. If you don’t care what other people think or if you want to look like a fool online, here are some things you should do:

  1. Write like a 13-year old clown. This includes using slang, sarcastic remarks, shorthand, etc. Begin all your emails with “Zup dudes!” and spl ol d wrds lyk dis (for the uninitiated: “spell all the words like this”). Or YoU cAn EvEn AlTeRnAtE CaPiTaLiZaTiOn - make the reader like she inadvertently got herself into a pre-teen chatroom. Don’t forget to end your email with “Bye losers!”. Your boss will love that one so much that you’ll receive a permanent vacation.

    2. No junk-mail please…




  2. Attach heavy, high-resolution pictures of your family or office parties. Think high-res is just for graphic artists? Think again! You too can clog the inbox of some unsuspecting coworker. Why shouldn’t you? Of course they want to see 50 jpegs of your new baby! Also, the boss will truly appreciate that you spread around that candid shot you took of him while he was singing “Everybody Wang Chung Tonight” during the last office party. Why place these images onto Flickr or some photosharing website? You don’t want to make viewing these pics optional, do you?
  3. Ignore the fact that your office emails may be intercepted. That kind of thing is pure paranoia. Companies don’t keep all incoming and outgoing email on some kind of server, so go ahead and use your company email to register on a BDSM dating website. Why keep your personal life personal? Take it a step further and email your nude pictures to your online Turkish lover. Don’t forget to list down all the office supplies you “borrowed” and email the list to a friend while you’re at it.
  4. Don’t use the subject line. After all, it ruins the suspense of your email. The subject field of your email doesn’t even really do anything cool besides notify the recipient what the email is about so that they can see if it’s urgent or if they should file it away for later.
  5. Forward away! If you don’t forward that chain letter, your wish won’t come true, you’ll be single for the rest of your life, and you’ll get a bad case of chlamydia. Also, if you think it’s a funny email, everyone else will think so too! So forward that lengthy joke email. Why deprive your coworkers of some great laughs? Especially if they have to go through a long list of “Sent to:” addresses and endless lines of “>>>>>>>>>>>>>>” to get to the punchline.

    6. 4 Ways To Eliminate Spam.

    Right from Viagra to Software Download, from non-English character mails to Phishing emails, Spam is hot and vibrant, and of course, in plenty. Some of the studies say that an average mail box is getting 3600 spam mails per day. Last year it was around 2400. With this rate, soon 9 out of 10 mails may be spam… [read more]

  6. Don’t proofread your email before you send it. It’s unnecessary and boring. After all, wouldn’t it be really funny if you send an email to the wrong person? It’s even funnier if you get to type “I’ll do my breast” when you really wanted to say “I’ll do my best”. Think of all the fun you’ll miss out on if you proofread.
  7. If you have a business email address, don’t check it regularly. Trust me, you won’t receive any important emails. Plus, you can avoid reading that “You’re fired!” email from your boss.
Autor: Celine.
Source: www.pimpyourwork.com


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