5 Ways to Look like an Idiot at the Gym.
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It is much safer and much easier to make build sufficient strength first to perform the skills you are trying to learn. If you are not strong enough, you will never be able to do many gymnastics skills no matter how many times you try. Building strength also makes you safer in potentially dangerous fall situations.
If you don’t want to be the guy that people hate to be around, and then talk about later (much as I’m doing now), then don’t make these 5 ridiculous mistakes the next time you are working out!
1. Wear Your Hat Sideways - There is nothing that turns women on more than seeing an allegedly full-grown man degenerate into an instant juvenile delinquent by wearing his hat sideways.
You need to be aware of what is going on around you in the gym if there are other gymnasts, especially bigger ones, around. You need to be aware and pay attention to everything and everyone around you who might crash into you or land on you. You also need to pay careful attention to your coach so you understand exactly what they expect of you to learn efficiently and keep yourself safe.
You just go ahead with your bad self with the full knowledge that not only is a baseball cap an integral part of an indoor weight training session, but also knowing that you won’t leave the gym today without a handful of telephone numbers.
Really!
2. Wear a “GQ” Outfit - Oh yeah, Teddy Bear - you know the deal. Every person who sees you knows for a fact that you are a “real man” based on your blazingly white designer shorts, your equally white sleeveless shirt that you obviously paid too much money for, and your blindingly white sneakers that have clearly never actually been run in.
Make sure all equipment is set and sturdy before you begin to perform any skills on it. Handles and cables need to be tight enough so the equipment is safe for you to be on. Don’t assume the equipment is correctly set and tight. Check it an make sure first.
In fact, that outfit is so clean (and so overpriced) that some people might think you bought it just to wear to the gym as if going to the gym is some sort of a fashion show. I’m not one of those people, Teddy Bear, but I’m just sayin’ - some people might think that!
3. Have a Tribal Tattoo on your Upper Arm - Who knew? You’re part of a TRIBE! That’s amazing! I was not aware that they let spoiled American boys into tribes these days, let alone gave them a permanent tattoo to take home as a souvenir!
Don’t sit or stand in potential landing or fall zones. Too often gymnasts waiting for their turn do not stay enough out of the way of other gymnasts who need adequate room to dismount or a place to fall.
If you had some other tattoos which demonstrated that you actually appreciate the art form of tattooing, then people might not realize that you are actually a member of some tribe somewhere on some continent somewhere. Somewhere.
Good thing you’ve just got the one!
Just like swimming and other physical activities where there is even the remotest chance of injury, gymnasts should only work out when there is at least one other person around. This means on those home trampolines, too.
4. Be Disrespectful of other Members - The gym is packed and everyone is trying to squeeze in their workout yet still make it to the next part of their day on time, but you, Teddy Bear, you take priority!
You should use at least 2 different workout stations at once, although if you truly want to leave your mark, you might want to go for 3.
Spotting is an art and requires the knowledge, strength and experience of a gymnastics professional. Any error in judgement on your or their part could lead to you being involved and responsible for their potentially serious injury.
Also, you can double the effect by leaving each workout station a disaster that other members have to clean up if they want to use that equipment.
Oh, and one more thing. Don’t forget to get in people’s personal space while you’re working out.
By the same token, you should only let qualified gymnastics professionals spot you on skills you cannot do and need help with. You risk potentially serious injury by being spotted or coached by someone who is not qualified, knowledgeable, experienced or strong enough.
After all, who are they to take up some valuable space on the gym floor when all you really need them to do is be part of the audience? Get right in their space and make them uncomfortable so they’ll leave!
5. Have Muscles that don’t match your Personality - Teddy Bear, c’mon, you know better than this!
Ask for a spot if you are doing tricks if you need or want it. You are the one most likely to know and remember if you need a spot or not and it will be too late if you attempt a skill you are not sure of and fall. Spotting can protect you and build your confidence in doing the skill until you are ready to do it on your own safely. Don’t tell a coach that you can do skills if you are not 100% sure you can do them safely… [read more]
Truly professional bodybuilders are at least respectful of other people, if not downright kind. In fact, they might even border on helpful!
But not you, Teddy Bear! Your muscles are HUGE, yet you are clearly only at the gym for the fashion show and to pick up chicks, so you couldn’t possibly act or train like an actual professional athlete.
That, of course, begs the question: “Where did those huge muscles come.
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