10 Ways to Heal Spiritually from a Breakup.
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Divorce can be a difficult thing to go through for some. You may feel like your family is tearing apart and you may find that there are many feelings that you are going to have to come up. There are some suggestions that you will want to do to help you to deal with the divorce and the depression. You will want to make sure that you have support from your immediate family and close friends.
The end of a relationship is a universally painful and intense experience, one that is followed by a period of mourning and healing. Everyone recovers from a bad breakup differently, but all can benefit from thinking about the process in terms of spiritual healing. So put away that voodoo doll and try these 10 spiritual tips for getting over a breakup and moving on with your life.
To help you get over your depression, you don’t want to be afraid to talk. You will find that if you learn to talk about the divorce, you’ll feel a lot better. If there are children involved, you don’t want to allow your depression to take over. You will want to make sure that you get involved with the kids and that you do everything that you can do get closer to the children and support each other.
- Don’t Blame God. It’s tempting when you have lost a love-even if you were the instigator of the breakup-to channel feelings of loneliness and abandonment toward the heavens, blaming God for bringing you together as a couple only to have the relationship fall apart. In the period just after the breakup, though, try to turn toward God or your higher power for support and direction, rather than turning away from your spiritual self.
- Clean Up the Mess. Cleaning house can be a spiritual metaphor for inner cleansing. Cleaning house can be a spiritual metaphor for inner cleansing. When you’ve just endured a breakup, that process becomes even more meaningful as you gather up your ex’s clothes, books, music, and other stuff. It might be painful to face the memories that are attached to those things, but once they’re out the door - either in the mail or the dumpster, as the case may be - you’ll be surprised at the refreshing sense of soul-cleanliness that you feel.
- Write it Out. After a breakup, the heart and soul often feel overwhelmed with emotions and memories. Pouring your anger, hurt, confusion, sadness, regret, or even relief or apology into a heartfelt letter to your ex is a great first step toward healing yourself of these feelings. Then, make a ritual of getting rid of the letter instead of sending it. Either put it in a special private box, tuck it into a journal, or toss it into a crackling fire.
- Try Something New. “Starting over” is a scary phrase associated with the aftermath of a breakup, but it can also be an exciting concept. Take a class to help you learn a new skill or hobby, learn a new language, or consider a new career direction. Trying something new is a way to symbolically demonstrate to yourself that the world is a big place, and new opportunities in life-and love-are always available.
- Relish Your Solitude. Being on your own is intimidating at times, but it is also a spiritual gift. Many forms of meditation are practiced in solitude, and practices from yoga to tai chi can also be done solo. Create a space in your home that feels like a sanctuary to you. Create a space in your home that feels like a sanctuary to you. This will allow you to infuse your alone time with spirituality and remind you of the pleasure of your own company.
- Love Your Life. No matter how bleak your life might feel after a breakup, there have to be some positive aspects that you’re not questioning or struggling with. Think about what you love about your life - it can be a meaningful job, a group of supportive, funny friends, a loving family, a comfortable home, anything that simply makes you happy. Make a “gratitude list” and keep it on your night-table or somewhere else nearby so you can look at it instead of glancing wistfully at pictures of you and your ex.
- Don’t Be Afraid of Tears. Not to put too fine a point on it, but breaking up is hard to do. Crying is allowed, and so are anger, resentment, and fear about the future. Give yourself permission to fully feel the pain of the loss, because only when you are honest with yourself about your feelings can you begin the healing process.
- Take Care of Yourself. The stress of a breakup can leave your body feeling fragile and upset. Tend to your physical well-being to restore your feelings of self-worth, confidence, and attractiveness. Start a satisfying new workout program, cook simple, healthy meals, or treat yourself to a soothing aromatherapy massage to reconnect with your inner beauty.
- Believe in Yourself. Breakups aren’t great for the self-esteem. If you did the breaking up, you might feel like a callous jerk. If you were dumped, you might feel un-loveable. Sit down in a quiet place with your journal or a piece of paper and write yourself reminders of what you like about yourself. That’s not to say there aren’t lessons to be learned from every breakup, but you should come away feeling like the good and special person that you truly are.
- Begin Again. At some point after your breakup, you will be ready to re-enter the dating scene. Watch your emotions carefully, and your intuition will tell you when you are ready to let go of your past relationship for good and open yourself up to the possibility of finding love again. When you make that decision, you’ll be ready to head out-or online-with a renewed and refreshed spirit.
You will want to talk to the kids about how they feel and you might find that they are depressed too. This is where you might want to think about going to a counselor together so that you and the children can learn to accept the divorce and deal with the hurt and feelings that was left behind.
You may also find that, depending on the circumstances of your divorce, that it may be best to give the children some time before you all come together to talk.
You will want to let go of all the hurt feelings eventually, but you have to recognize them first and deal with them. Your divorce depression may end up defining the family, but that it when professional help is needed. In fact, it is a good idea (if you have children) to go to counseling with your ex too so that it seems like nothing is really changing. You will want to also focus on other relationships that you still have.
This is when you throw yourself into going out and forgetting the divorce. This doesn’t mean you have to become an alcoholic, but you can also do things other than drinking. A casual drink with friends is healthy to catch up on life and things. You will want to make sure that you spend a lot of time with other people so that you can help yourself get over it all.
You can’t rush this! You may seem very eager to move on, but it is a process. You are going to go through stages of fear and hurt, but in the end of the day you have to find your place. You will want to make sure that you do everything you can to make things better for yourself. Divorce gives you the perfect time to do some of the things that the marriage might have held you back from doing… [read more]
Those of us who have gone through a divorce understand all too well the pain and grief we experience. We have lost our spouse, what we thought was our life partner, a loss similar to the death of a loved one. What is worse though, is losing all the many aspects of a life lived together as a couple and family. The fact is that many of our married friends cannot really understand that loss, which only serves to make us feel more isolated.
It is the loss of a total way of life… of extended family members, of holidays spent together and a social life with other married couples to name just a few of the losses associated with divorce. Recently, a divorced friend remarked that her married friends didn’t know what to do with her.
Where we used to spend our Saturday nights with other married couples or Sundays on family outings with a treasure trove of kids, now there is little physical contact or more often, none at all.
Where did those family dinners together with friends go? We’re still here.
Why don’t we see our married friends socially outside of a party? I know that we are all busy with our own little worlds but I sense that these former close friends simply don’t ‘get’ the loneliness and sense of loss we are experiencing. We divorced people understand that things are no longer the same; we know that better than anyone.
For those of living far away from our extended families it is even more difficult.
My ex’s family lives within minutes of him so he still has the comfort of having his family close by for support. Not so for those of us whose families are a plane ride away. The simple joy of a Sunday night family dinner with our brothers, sisters and parents eludes us. We watch as our kids walk out the door to spend Sunday night with our ex and their grandparents and a vacuum opens up within us… [read more]
Source: dating.personals.yahoo.com
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