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10 Ways My Cat is Like a Typical Guy.

Posted in Family.
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  1. He spends hours, yes hours, per day preening; he delights in staring at himself in the mirror; and he purrs with a slight grin when you fawn over him. It makes no difference whether he is actually handsome or ugly–regardless, he considers himself hot, hot stuff.
  2. When hungry, he moans until you feed him, then licks up the good part right away (i.e., the marinade), makes a mess (bits of kibble crumbs everywhere) within a two feet radius of his food dish, and leaves the unappetizing grubby part as leftovers which he never eats. After he’s full, he saunters to the bathroom to take a dump, then conks out in bed and naps away the afternoon.
  3. He enjoys hunting sports, meaning hunting in controlled environments. He further enjoys chasing balls senselessly back and forth around a given area.
  4. All things electronic fascinate him.
  5. While you’re working, he interrupts your concentration to cuddle, but when you want to cuddle, he’s aloof, reluctant, and acts as if he’s got better things to do.
  6. He’s not a very good listener. “Come here, Marshall,” I’ll say, to which he’ll glare at me before he walks away. “Get off my textbook, baby,” I’ll beg, but he’ll just plop his fat ass down, curl up, and shut his eyes for a nap. He hears you, nevertheless he shall do as he pleases anyway.
  7. He strides around like he rules the roost, the master of this domain, but if you really stop and think about it, you’re the one providing for, taking care of, and looking after him.
  8. Besides never telling you beforehand where he’s going when he heads out, he also doesn’t tell you how he feels or gives explanations for his actions; yet when it comes to articulating what he wants and needs from you (e.g., feed him, pet him, clean his domain, etc.), he is suddenly very clear and expressive.
  9. He can be faithful to you, and might love you the most, but that won’t stop him from following around other women who bait him with affection, food, or cool toys.
  10. He thinks your sole purpose for existence is to serve him. And he truly believes he is good to you, and you should be grateful for ending up with such a good boyfriend, husband, domestic partner, or significant other (or in my situation, a cat).
Source: akrypti.wordpress.com


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